“Try to learn to breathe deeply,
really to taste food when you eat,
and when you sleep, really to sleep.
Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might,
and when you laugh, laugh like hell.
And when you get angry, get good and angry.
Try to be alive.
You will be dead soon enough.
That’s how many days have passed since my last post (excluding the Top 5).
That’s also how many days it has taken my life to completely flip upside down, back side front in all the right, necessary ways.
I’m feeling so much better than I did since that hopeful leap day. I got out of a bad situation. I took a risk and embraced much needed change. I’ve finally been able to travel and devote more time to the things that matter most.
Writing is one of those things. It’s hard to write when you aren’t consistently reading or writing. One informs the other and the process is organic, less like pulling teeth. It’s hard to do either when you’re plain old unhappy. When your mind and heart aren’t aligned and you can’t get the voices of discontent in your head to shut the hell up.
somewhere along the 101
I’ve been journaling since I could first hold a pencil, and have kept an online journal since Sunday, November 26, 2000(!), so this hiatus was a first for me. I wasn’t procrastinating and I wasn’t being lazy. I was completely and utterly uninspired, and it wasn’t something I felt like documenting. I’d like to think I didn’t want to remember what I was going through. Sure it’s a learning experience, but who wants to hear a sad broken record? When years pass I’m sure I will look back on this rough patch and wonder how I got through it all. I don’t need to relieve the sour details. All that matters is I was strong enough to get through it once, and I can do it again if I absolutely need to (but hopefully never do!).
just fitting in at walt disney world
So on to happier times for this gal. I’m excited to feel as good as I did toward the end of 2009, when anything and everything felt possible. Not much has changed, except the way I approach tackling the seemingly impossible. Life keeps trying to break me down. I can’t help but wonder what it’s preparing me for. Only one way to find out!
[ 5 ] the chaos
oh there was plenty. they don’t tell you how hard it is to push when you’re up against a brick wall and you’ve given your all and need to keep drawing from that bank. it’s hard to have an infinite supply. it’s hard to admit you need a break to recharge. that’s what i needed. i needed time to myself. typically writing helps when i’m enduring a hardship, but i was so uninspired the words wouldn’t form. it was hard putting things down in writing. maybe i didn’t want to remember.
[ 4 ] the changes
i’ve bounced around quite a bit in the last 9 months. newport beach to orlando to new york to boston to long beach. i’ve felt like quite the human ping pong ball. couple that with a 2500+ mile transcontinental commute and any time off felt like it was running away from me. packing and unpacking never gets any easier.
[ 3 ] marathon training
“if it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you”
my first 26.2! i wanted to do so many more races in 2012 but knew i had to take it easy. it felt so good to come back strong after my injuries. more on that later.
[ 2 ] traveling abraod
here we go, pochacco!
puerto rico [kinda counts], philippines (manila & boracay), and japan (tokyo & izu), among many random days waking up and falling asleep in different states.
sunrise to sunset in boracay
[ 1 ] picking up the pieces
2009 was the last time i truly felt like myself. i had my creative routine down and was so happy with what i was doing, and then it crumbled when i fell into a job with management that just wasn’t good for the soul. i stayed with it much longer than i should have, but i don’t regret a thing. the past 9 months have allowed me to get back into my old habits and it feels good to get back into the things that make me me. i want to write. i need to write. and so here i am, ending the hiatus.
Happy Leap Year!
I’ve decided to let this be the day that brought me back from the virtual dead.
I can’t believe the last time I logged in and drafted a post was November of 2011.
A lot has happened since then.
Good and bad.
Pretty and ugly.
But that’s just the way it goes.
We have a lot of catching up to do.
Well, not a ton, but just enough.
I won’t leave you for too long.
A recent night in DTLA ended with this sweet reminder:
I’ll be a better friend once these gift cards run out…or I reach Gold status. *_*
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”
[ 5 ] Downsizing my Life
because i believe in mobility & clutter free living
[ 4 ] Coming off the Busy Season @ Work
[ 3 ] Netflix-ing aka “Creative Research & Inspiration”
Finally found a show that could fill the void "Lost" left behind. Amazing suspense.
[ 2 ] Halloween Costume Making
Part 1 - Mad Hatter
Part 2 - R2D2 - Best Individual Contest Winner! : )
[ 1 ] Half-Marathon Training & Conquering
NWM 2011 | SF | 10.16.11
on course with paul & thao!
Rock n' Roll Los Angeles | 10.30.11
Posted in friends, Life, Top 5, Travel
Tagged coffee, downsizing, Downtown Los Angeles, DTLA, half marathons, Halloween 2011, Mad Hatter Costume, Nike Women's Marathon 2011, NWM 2011, R2D2 Costume, Rock n' Roll Los Angeles 2011, running, San Francisco, The Walking Dead, work