i’ve always believed life is short, and i need to take advantage of every single moment. i lived that notion to what felt like an extreme, feeling this all empowering force within me to make things happen and get to where i want to be.
i don’t know what happened in the last two years (well, yes i do but i’ll save that for later), but i’ve gradually felt so distant from the person i worked so hard to become. i’ve felt stagnant, lacking the growth i need and the challenges/struggles/risks that help me grow. through all my ups and downs, i’m not satisfied with the person i’m allowing myself to currently be so i’m making changes.
slowly but surely.
i don’t necessarily like slowly because i’m an “okay, let’s do this now” type person.
why else would i agree to a road trip the night prior without a plan, or decide on a tuesday that i’m flying to vietnam on sunday for a much deserved week get away? or decide that yes, i do want this college degree so i’m going to quit this stable and rewarding job, commute 100 miles/day and coach surf after my lease ends with the hope that it will all work out for the best. it did. i’ve flipped my life a few times before, i know i can now. and right now it’s not so much the “can” that eats away at me, but moreso the “how.”
but even being the NOW personality, i also recognize some things need to be taken slowly and handled as wisely as possible until i make the jump. then once i do i can run as fast as i can until i catch my breathe and ask, “now what?”
can’t wait to get there.