currently: rediscovering me

on a tokyo metro through harajuku & shibuya on a recent 8 hour layover in japan

i’ve always believed life is short, and i need to take advantage of every single moment.  i lived that notion to what felt like an extreme, feeling this all empowering force within me to make things happen and get to where i want to be.

i don’t know what happened in the last two years (well, yes i do but i’ll save that for later), but i’ve gradually felt so distant from the person i worked so hard to become.  i’ve felt stagnant, lacking the growth i need and the challenges/struggles/risks that help me grow.  through all my ups and downs, i’m not satisfied with the person i’m allowing myself to currently be so i’m making changes.

slowly but surely.

i don’t necessarily like slowly because i’m an “okay, let’s do this now” type person.

why else would i agree to a road trip the night prior without a plan, or decide on a tuesday that i’m flying to vietnam on sunday for a much deserved week get away?  or decide that yes, i do want this college degree so i’m going to quit this stable and rewarding job, commute 100 miles/day and coach surf after my lease ends with the hope that it will all work out for the best.  it did.  i’ve flipped my life a few times before, i know i can now.  and right now it’s not so much the “can” that eats away at me, but moreso the “how.”

but even being the NOW personality, i also recognize some things need to be taken slowly and handled as wisely as possible until i make the jump.  then once i do i can run as fast as i can until i catch my breathe and ask, “now what?”

can’t wait to get there.

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